One of the 21st century's great unrequited love affairs has simmered to the boil again this week. Drawing comparisons with Brad and Jennifer, Clinton and Lewinsky and perhaps even Peter and Jordan, Peter Mandelson has passionately criticised one of his most famous exes, Aussie press baron Rupert Murdoch.
The courtship rituals of these two timeless hate figures are more complex than -- and have more than a little in common with -- the penis jousting contests practiced by hermaphroditic flatworms.
In a tale fit for a Hollywood rom-com -- starring Ian Beale and Marlon Brando in the lead roles -- the couple began their love-hate relationship in the mid-1990s.
Mandy, then sporting a rather dashing moustache, wined and dined Rupert alongside soon-to-be prime minister Tony Blair in the hope that the Sun would express support for the Labour Party in the run-up to the 1997 elections.
The relationship was consumated with New Labour's victory and remained relatively stable until Rupert filed for divorce in September this year, citing a new partnership with David Cameron's Tories.
Mandy removed any prospect of love rekindling earlier this week by suggesting that Murdoch's News Corp International is "imperilling the traditions" of British broadcasting and journalism.
Speaking at a reading of the government's upcoming Digital Britain Bill, Mandy said: "They believe that profit alone should drive the gathering and circulation of news rather than allowing a role for what they call 'state-sponsored journalism'."
While I agree with Mandy's argument about the importance of the BBC, it does seem a little rich coming from a man who has faced more than a few accusations of cuddling-up a little too tight to Rupert.
Whatever happens next, I eagerly anticipate the inevitable competing OK! and Hello interview spreads that have become synonymous with very public break-ups.
*Incidentally, the BBC Trust sensibly ruled earlier this week that an analogy used by the political correspondent Nick Robinson comparing Mandy's political career with manure was an "accurate assessment", which seems fair.
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